


Eyes Linked with the Pale

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Because of Reasons, Blood Magic, Epic Bromance, Episode: s08e21 The Great Escapist, Gabriel is Bad at Feelings, Gabriel is a Mother Hen, Jealousy, M/M, Misunderstandings, Multi, Nephilim, No One Tell Him, Protective Benny, Purgatory, Rituals, Season/Series 08, Slow Build, Temporarily Unrequited Love, Unresolved Sexual Tension, ish
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-15
Updated: 2016-03-22
Packaged: 2018-05-14 04:17:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5729215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a few hours of lying on dead leaves, wondering where he is that the whole night sky is completely fucked up and why he‘s no longer chained in the proverbial yard, he shifts and tries to sit up. The wound right above his stomach loudly and painfully declares this a terrible idea.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written in over two years so be gentle with me. The title comes from this [ poem](allpoetry.com/poem/11623296-Purgatory-by-Crossmiller). Beta'd by Ray_Hedd, so if something's wrong blame her lol she's awesome and deserves all the things. Alright, that being said, I regret nothing nor do I own anything else Gabriel would be alive and Dean would be about as straight as the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

The thing with the Winchesters is they have this incredible ability to evade Death, screw everything up, and look great while doing so. 

So. 

So, he might have admitted they had a few points (Sam’s puppy dog eyes increased their odds greatly) and he agrees he’ll take a couple swings for their team (see previous answer).

Then for a while, he is…tethered to something, like a dog on a leash.

However, suddenly, he’s not. It’s painful, like growing all his years in two very short seconds and then getting stabbed in the gut all over again.

\---

After a few hours of lying on dead leaves, wondering where he is that the whole night sky is completely fucked up and why he‘s no longer chained in the proverbial yard, he shifts and tries to sit up. The wound right above his stomach loudly and painfully declares this a terrible idea. 

However, that’s never stopped him before. 

Actually sitting up takes some time and careful planning of every muscle he’s suddenly hyper aware of, which, hey, strange. The view doesn’t really improve, the trees are all on the verge of death and he’s never been a big fan of feeling watched but the eyes have yet to encroach on his little clearing so he dismisses it. Probably not a great idea but he doubts this creepy forest is a viable birthplace of great ideas, anyway. 

Twisting and turning his head gives him the opportunity to scope out his little grove. There’s a boulder behind him a few feet and around him is brambles, brambles, and oh wait is that - no, more bramble. It’s pitiful.

\---

Halfway through the night, he ends up scooting backwards toward the boulder and feels an inordinate sense of relief when his back touches the cool stone. Those eyes that never wander pass the bramble start moving back off into the thicker parts of surrounding forest. Gabriel tries not to feel a little miffed.

Then those eyes return with something following not far off and Gabriel might curse the damn thing. There’s a snarl and the sound cuts off before it starts up again, scurrying the other way. His suspiciousness (not to mention his heart rate) skyrockets because great, hierarchy. And it looks like he’s been scheduled for a meeting. The eyes, as it turns out when they aren’t glaring at you in the dark, are a very nice blue and the skull they rest in isn’t too bad either. The teeth aren’t really one of Gabriel’s cranks but they do add a certain bloodlust to it all. At least now he knows where he is because vampire means Purgatory. 

“Hey.” he says, waving once with his free hand. The other one is currently holding in his abdomen. 

The vampire stares at him a little longer and Gabriel’s flattered, really, but this guy’s been staring for the past few hours and it is a tad annoying when one might be dying. Then again, if he were going to die, he probably would have already. 

Blue eyes narrow and chapped lips purse, “Evening.”

The accent is very unique. Gabriel’s chuckle might be a little hysterical given the step back the vampire makes, “Oh, that’s great. Really.” he murmurs to himself then aloud to his company, “Louisiana, amirite? Some asshole calls himself the Maker and thinks he‘s the first vampire to be a fucking pirate.”

He almost wishes he could say the chilled hand around his neck is a surprise, but it’s happened so many times with so many different hands, it’s barely a second thought to his fake breathing. Besides, this dude’s sire was a dick and deserved to be dropped in a _Buffy_ episode with the worst of them. Mmm, James Marsters. Still, best not to upset the pretty vamp that thinks he’s got him cornered, “Ah, sorry?”

The hand tightens, “What’s your name?”

Oh, now, that’s an interesting question, isn’t it? 

His smirk curls so naturally against his lips as he purrs, “My name’s Gabriel, gorgeous. What’s yours?”

A pause, the creature is so wary and calculating, a glance at his wound and a tiny amount of shock and respect in the gaze.

“Benny Lafitte.”

The grin he receives is totally threatening as the hand eases off but he doesn’t think to blink at it. He opens his mouth to reply when his organs decide to shift and make this hideous little noise come out instead. He glances down at his hand and notices the familiar shine of his Grace. Oh, that’s not too bad. A little trip to one of his little hideaways and he would be set except for the fact that he’s in the ass crack of literally nowhere. Purgatory is its own little playground with few and far between tears that dump you back to Hell or Earth.

There is a snort in front of him and his free hand curls into the dead leaves as he spits, “Something on your mind, sunshine?”

Benny raises an eyebrow, “Yeah, why do you angels keep getting dumped here?”

For one terrifying moment, his whole mind goes off into a screaming lunacy of his elder brothers’ names and that overwhelming urge to _run_. He forces it back before it reaches his throat and doesn’t bother to keep the threat out of his voice when he asks quietly, “What other angels?”

Either Benny doesn’t notice the threat or he simply isn’t affected by it, “Not more than a couple days since I’ve been back and I found another one of you. Some blue eyed seraph and his _amant_.”

Gabriel chokes on his tongue before letting out a rasping laugh, “They’re actually fucking now?”

There’s the suspicious glare, again.

The archangel rolled his eyes, “Calm down, Blackbeard, let me guess. The guy he was with? Human. In his thirties, leather jacket and guilt complex the size of Texas ? At least the bastard made it.”

Benny snorted and patted Gabriel’s knee, “I know the feeling,” he said as he sat down next to Gabriel, back to the boulder as well, “Died again for that boy.”

Gabriel’s head hit the rock and murmured, “I doubt we’ll be the last.”

Then it hit him, his brows furrowing and an unsolicited spike of worry flicked his sternum, “Was there a tall guy with them? Stupid hair with nice eyes?”

There was that raised eyebrow again, he must only have three expressions. “Nice eyes, _cher_?”

He scowled, “Oh, shut up, Captain Kidd. As if you didn’t salivate over Mr. Apple Pie.”

The laugh was a surprise and not unwelcome in the dark clearing. Whether he acknowledged it or not, something eased in Gabriel and his stiff shoulders melted against the boulder as Benny nodded, “Yeah, he’s back in the real world. Dean and him didn‘t really agree.” 

Gabriel rolled his eyes, “I’m so surpris–Ah,” his wound feeling ten times worse and the Grace showing started it’s best impression of a disco ball, “What the hell?”

A snarl made them both look up to see what to Gabriel was easily the ugliest sight he’d seen since he helped get rid of these assholes the last time. 

“That’s just great. Perfect!” he shouted upwards.

Another snarl cut him off and he flipped the thing off then snarled back, “Bite me, you weaponized octopus.”

Benny didn’t want to provoke the Leviathan all that much and he repeated that sentiment into Gabriel’s ear before standing up and producing a nice knife-axe from inside his coat, “You completely useless?”

Gabriel snorted and wiped the blood on his free hand onto his jeans, “Not even on my deathbed, sweet cheeks,” he retorted, snapping his fingers, and watching in satisfaction as the overgrown squid is thrown backwards. Until his wound made his whole body light up with fresh agony in penalty.

“Fuck! C’mon! I’m just supposed to be maimed too?! Well, fuck you too, old man!” Gabriel howled at the blank night sky with Benny watching him. The Leviathan ran off for back up. Benny grabbed the archangel’s coat lapels, hauled him up and got a wild left hook to the face for his efforts. He dropped Gabriel and staggered backwards, surprised at the blood oozing from his nose. 

Meanwhile, Gabriel collapsed to his knees. He feels so angry and confused. He died for his Father‘s damn cause. What more could his Father possibly ask from him?

Benny didn’t have time for a existential crisis, that Leviathan would be back and with friends so he tried, again. Slower and more cautious, he put his hands on Gabriel’s shoulders gently and swallowed down the fear when Gabriel looked up; his eyes were wild with vengeance and anger. Benny gripped tighter and hissed, “We have to get out of here.” 

The emotion in the archangel died almost immediately and Benny counted himself lucky when Gabriel nodded and replied, “Gonna need some help with that.”

An arm around Benny’s shoulders, his other hand holding his wound closed as best he could, and Benny’s arm around his waist got them a good mile and a half from the clearing. Gabriel let himself go slack and expected to be dropped but all Benny did was bend down to pick up the disgruntled angel into a fireman’s carry. He grunted, “We’ve got maybe a half mile to go, don’t expect this again.”

Gabriel’s wet chuckles made Benny feel a tiny amount of concern but there was a series of caves ahead so he pushed it aside, “Shouldn’t that wound be closing up at least a little by now?”

Bloody fingers twitched against Benny’s leg and Gabriel muttered, “Yeah.”

His voice is distant and Benny knows he’ll pass out soon.

\---

Unconsciousness is so not fun. It’s the opposite of fun. It’s always here that Dad thinks he needs to bestow his words of wisdom. Gabriel’s tried telling him repeatedly that it’s more like a homeless guy shouting nonsense at you.

Dad’s vessel isn’t very noteworthy with his bathrobe and the smell of Colgate and whisky coming off his breath like a new pathogen, “Gabriel.”

“Dick,” Gabriel offers back with a smile full of malicious intent that he can’t follow through with, “How ya been? Tahiti nice this time of year?”

Oh, no, there it is, the Frown. Gabriel knows better than to roll his eyes but he spreads his arms out and questions “Haven’t gotten in enough hits yet?”

“Gabriel, I have never intended to cause you pain.” Father intones, as if he’s sad that Gabriel would think otherwise.

“Bullshit.” he hisses, knows he’s crossed the line as soon as he said it but He left. He didn’t even bother to leave any note and Gabriel’s world went to ruin because of it. “We might not have been as grand as _humans_ but we’re still your children, old man!” 

“ _ **Gabriel**_.”

The archangel deflates and forces himself not to pinch the bridge of his nose, “I don’t hate them. Or you. I wanted to hate you, fuck, for so long I swore I did. Hell, I died for the, you know, the cause.”

The vessel looks skeptical and murmurs, “No, you didn’t.”

It’s so matter-of-fact Gabriel wants to punch Him in his blessed face but God goes on, “I know you are tired. I realize you thought you were dying for something I supported and in doing so would regain my favor but it only succeeded in making me want you to learn. I want you to understand the cause you supposedly _died_ for, my son.” 

Oh. Oh _hell_ no. Lesson time is so over at this point that Gabriel couldn’t learn anything even if he wanted to, which he adamantly doesn’t. 

However, God is God is God and the bastard does what he wants.

“Learn, Gavri‘el,” his Father says and two fingers touch Gabriel’s forehead.

\---

He wakes up in a cave, propped up against the cave wall. He’s got a mother of a headache and his shirt is tacky with dried blood. Benny is not too far from him, at the mouth of the cavern, watching the forest. It’s considerably colder in the cave, which is probably why his body is shaking. He shifts his shoulders to press more comfortably against the stone and-

Hello.

He takes a breath and edges his fingers around the wound, pushing gently at the skin and he feels it again. Did he mention he’s really bitter about the whole being not actually dead yet? Because it‘s like ten times worse now. He exhales softly and looks up, “Hey, Blackbeard.”

Benny scans the forest line once more before turning his head slightly, “Hm?”

“Ever dug a bullet out?” Gabriel asks, and then doubles back, “Ever played Operation?” 

He receives a confused look from Benny then a scowl, “Bullet, yes. Board game, no.”

Gabriel really doesn’t curse his Dad or his brothers because Gabriel is an Archangel and thus unmarred of petty emotions like anger. He rolls his eyes. He starts gently pulling off the green canvas jacket and when he has it off, it flops onto the cave floor. He breathes out through his nose. He leans back into the wall again and considers all two of his options. He can let the vampire dig around in his gut or he can dig around in his gut. Gabriel’s hand comes up to rub his eyelids and he sighs. “Do me a favor?”

Another glance at the cave mouth before Benny comes and kneels down beside him, “That doesn’t look like a bullet wound.”

Gabriel tries not to laugh because he almost wishes it is a bullet wound, it’d be much easier to pull out of this body and his Grace. He grits his teeth when it starts to throb, “’s cause it isn’t.” he replies as he unbuttons the bottom part of his shirt, “It’s the tip of an angel blade. My blade, to be exact. I need you to get it out because it’s kinda shredding my Grace every time I move. The problem is it’s very small and pulling it out will be like pulling out a healthy tooth if the tooth wanted to infect the whole gums out of spite. You should probably knock me out, too.”

Benny blinks at him. “And if I don’t knock you out?”

Gabriel’s lips twitch, “If bleeding from your ears is something you don’t mind then we can bypass that.”

The vampire frowns at him, shakes his head, and pulls his own coat off to drop on top of Gabriel’s. His hat goes on top of his coat; he rolls up his sleeves and takes a deep breath, “Lie down, _l’ange_.” 

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” he said then frowned, “The least Grace you come into contact with is the best.” 

Gabriel doesn’t applaud when Benny doesn’t react but it’s a close thing, instead he offers, “Of course Wonder Boy liked you, you’re almost as stupid as him.”

The vampire actually smiles at him. Then cold fingers plunge into his wound and he bites his tongue until it bleeds. It’s certainly a new sensation; phalanges wandering around in that part of his body, brushing organs with every wandering swipe, the squelching sound aren’t exactly comforting either. His Grace tries to rise up against the intruder and holding it back takes effort that he can’t keep for long. “It’s higher up,” he bites out, tries not to shout and fails when Benny nudges the tip of the blade. His true voice is barely tempered enough for a new seraph let alone a vampire and Benny’s ears are already leaking blood. 

Benny looks up at him, his fingers about to curl around the blade tip, and nods. Gabriel manages to roll his eyes again and he bites down on his fist before Benny snags the tip with his index finger. He can’t force the scream away this time, his other hand gripping his thigh hard enough to bruise and he’s chanting to his Grace that Benny isn’t a threat and then like that it’s out. Benny holds the gleaming bit of blade in his clean hand and flexes his other, “Is it supposed to be numb?”

Gabriel snorts, lets his head hit the rock wall behind him. He tells him weakly, “Least all your skin is still there, buttercup.”

The pirate shifts to sit next to him, holds the blade tip between his thumb and index finger, “Do you think I should have washed my hands first?”

He shrugs, “Doesn’t matter now.” 

Benny nods, fingers curling around the blade tip “How long until you’re good to go?”

His sardonic laughter rings further down into the cave and he turns his head to look at Benny, “What place did you have in mind?” 

He watches Benny scratch at the blood starting to dry below his ear and the man shrugs. Gabriel peers at him, “Won’t your fellow vampires be missing you? Your, ah, crew?”

The way the guy stiffens, growls “No.”

Gabriel sighs, is that his Father’s so-called plan? Surround him with other runaways and they can make a pact to do better? To save the Winchesters no matter how stupidly suicidal the boys get? To save each other? Pft. He’s grateful, sure, yeah. He even likes the guy but actually complying with his dad after so long leaves an ashy taste in his mouth. Ash like Heaven burning. Ash like Lucifer’s wings. Except there was something about that meet-and-greet that wasn’t like the others before it. It all seemed a bit fake.

Benny looks over at Gabriel and finds a very old and very tired being staring off into the black of the cave. “Gabriel?”

He’s still shivering so he snags their jackets and throws Benny’s at his face and lays his over himself like a blanket, “We’ll be fine until morning. I need to sleep.”

Benny knows angels don’t sleep and he highly doubts an archangel does either but Gabriel is wounded so he doesn’t argue. Although, he points out “The Leviathan will be coming for you.”

Gabriel pats the arm closest to him and doesn‘t bother to open his eyes when he replies, “Don’t worry, honey, there’s a baseball bat under the bed if they come upstairs.”

It’s incredibly satisfying to Gabriel that he can feel Benny scowling and his lips curl into a pleased smirk. It disappears when he feels the vampire move to the other side of him, closer to the cave entrance and in it‘s place he swallows, resolutely not opening his eyes again. 

Sleep comes slow and fitful.

\---

He wakes up struggling against Benny. His dreams are vivid because they’re more memory than anything else. However, they’ve given him a forewarning. He laughs. Albeit, bitterly. Shaking his head and gripping Benny‘s arms, “That dumb ass. I would’ve bought it, too. Gavri‘el. Oh you stupid fucker.” 

Benny raises his eyebrow again, “You alright there?”

“I’m peachy,” Gabriel says, grinning like a shark, “But I know a certain scribe who is going to regret taking advice from Dumbledore.”

The vampire is worried again, Gabriel can feel it radiating off him like a disease. He ignores it, if Metatron is involved, there’s only a few reasons as to why. He lets go of Benny, “What were the Winchesters doing the last you saw them?”

Benny frowns, says, “I helped the younger one out of this place. Something about redeeming a soul?”

Gabriel blinks, then again. He can feel the scream building because who dug that stupid piece of rock up? Who is reading it with no Archangel to guard them? He looks at Benny incredulously, “I mean, what the fuck is that line of reasoning? Hey, it’s not really easy to read this stone and all of Hell and the better part of Heaven would like it back so you know what I’m going to do? I’m going to trust the idiots who started the last apocalypse and hope nothing goes wrong when I give them instructions that may or may not close the gates of Hell. Let’s go with this clearly brilliant plan. See, this is why the prophets weren‘t left on their own, they‘re all fucking nuts.”

A sigh comes from above him and then Benny settles next to him, again. “I don’t know what’s happening but you need out of here don’t you?”

Gabriel rolls his eyes, “Like you weren’t hoping I’d drag your sorry ass out of here with me the moment you saw me bleeding out. Don’t get me wrong, I’d do the same thing. Think of it as a favor, monster to monster.”

Benny growls at him.

The archangel shrugs, “Either way, you’re coming with me. Sorry but yours truly won’t get far without a nurse and you volunteered.”

“How do you propose we get out of here in the first place, _l’ange_?” Benny questions, looking more relaxed than he has since Gabriel met him.

Gabriel twists towards him and ignores the dig of pain that causes, “Why do you keep calling me that? Do I look like an angel to you? I haven’t stepped foot in Heaven in over two million years.”

Benny shrugs and his shoulder presses up against Gabriel, he doesn’t bother answering. It drives Gabriel insane how this vampire just cozies right up to him like some temperamental cat. He doesn’t get it. Nobody’s been this effusive with him since he was training fledglings into Garrison leaders. Kali, Baldur, and the other gods, they all had that touch of fear about them. A flight-or-fight response that he couldn’t hold against them. This guy, doesn’t have that or if he does he suppresses it around Gabriel enough to …well, to cuddle up to him. 

It’s disarming and Gabriel doesn’t know what to do with it. As Benny drifts off, Gabriel starts making plans to get them out of this place.


	2. Chapter 2

The first thing Benny wakes up to is the light of a fire that Gabriel must have made. It’s closer to Benny but the sight a few feet away is what has Benny’s attention. There’s three candles arranged in a triangle inside a cleared circle of the cave and Gabriel is kneeling inside of it, hands pressed together in prayer. The circle is a muddy drawn thing surrounding him and the whole cave smells funny. There’s a piece of cloth that Gabriel must have ripped from his shirt that’s tightly woven around what looks like dead smoldering leaves and he picks it up to pass over the circle every minute or so. He’s murmuring something under his breath about the elements and his mind. Benny doesn’t know a whole lot about pagan rituals and being able to watch an injured Judeo-Christian archangel perform one is fascinating. The different colored candles remain unlit and Gabriel has gone silent. 

“As an injured childe of the Dark Mother, I call thee.” Gabriel murmurs and Benny prays that the idiot angel didn’t just summon Eve of all people. Gabriel doesn’t acknowledge that Benny is awake as he lights the black candle’s wick. He waits another moment and then says softly, “As a childe in need of assistance, I call thee.”

“Burn away this world’s illusion in your Purifying Flames so that your childe may see the truth.” He picks up the white candle and lights it from the black. Benny shifts and Gabriel glares at him out of the corner of his eye and Benny stills. 

He picks up the last candle, it’s an odd color that shimmers in the firelight, and lights it from the white candle. He snaps his fingers but it seems hushed and as soon as he has a grip on the sharp flint that materialized, he slashes open his other palm and lets his blood drop on top of the last candle. 

Then there’s a beautiful dark skinned woman glaring down at the kneeling Gabriel.

Gabriel grins up at her and Benny finally notices how drained he looks, the ritual and its supplies took too much from him. Gabriel’s eyes flicker to him then back to the woman, “I knew you couldn’t leave me dead.”

She snorts, “I owed you. Nothing more, _Gabriel_.” 

To Benny’s surprise, the angel flinches and his hand moves to go to his wound before he stops himself and curls it into a fist, forcing the grin back. Benny doesn’t like the way Gabriel is still kneeling but he knows he can’t break the circle to help him up so he does what any Winchester would do, something stupid. “Hey, _cher_ , that’s not very nice.”

Gabriel’s smile is barely there but it is _there_ so Benny counts this as a win even as the woman turns to him and looks appalled and worried at the same time as she turns back to the kneeling angel, “Gabriel, you complete idiot. You don’t summon with another person in the room, have you learned nothing? What if Frigga decided that the call was hers this time? She would have broken the circle with your body and killed him as well. What if I decide to do the same?”

Gabriel’s smile is a lot bigger now and Benny’s about eighty percent sure that he’s completely delirious from his wound. He can tell Gabriel wants to stand but the angel won’t try on his own as he gives the woman a lopsided smirk, “You did too miss me! What let me guess, Baldur not fun enough?”

Kali raises an eyebrow and a silence ensues for a good five minutes before she rolls her eyes at him, “You always were hopeless, whatever was I thinking?”

Gabriel shifts to where he’s sitting cross-legged and a hand covering his wound, fear of showing weakness bypassed by the pain. “Alright, I just want a few answers then you can go back to Mr. Killjoy. First up, why have I been sentenced to the land of perpetual boredom?”

Her eyes narrow and her arms cross against her chest, “In the middle of doing the spell I was interrupted, a fat little man tried accessing my head and I fled before he succeeded. Your location,” she glances at his wound, “And body state was still undetermined. I assume the spell sent you were all dead gods go.”

He nods, accepts that as an answer calmly but Benny watches his jaw tighten before the angel says, “Kali, my destroyer, when you decided to grow me up from that little vial of blood is there any chance you missed something?”

Kali goes frigid again and she glowers down at him, “No.”

He licks his lips and inclines his head, “My mistake. When you leave, any chance of leaving the door open for a moment?”

She blinks and looks over to Benny then at Gabriel, “I don’t know how I missed it. When I look at you now, it’s all I can see. Virtuous angel.”

The words leave another ashy taste in Gabriel’s mouth but he smiles up at her. Her eyes drop to his wound and she kneels down, pulling his hand away and looking closer. Benny is at the very edge of the circle now, the fire has gone out and the candlelight flickers across their faces in the silence. Finally, she stands and looks to Benny, speaking directly to him for the first time, “Since the chances of him telling you are very slim, I will pass it on myself. Going through the portal will be painful for you both but mostly him, his abdomen may rupture and his Grace will go into a state of panic trying to repair his vessel and in doing so, it will make the two of you beacons to Heaven as well as Hell. You should pray to your gods it does not.”

She doesn’t bother to wipe his blood off her hands as the cave wall behind her gapes open, “Do not contact me again, Loki.”

With that, she moves until the chasm swallows her. Benny rushes to Gabriel and helps him up, growling in his ear, “What were you even thinking?” 

Gabriel looks so close to death and Benny would slap him upside the head if he thought it’d do any good, Gabriel looks at him tiredly, “We couldn’t stay here until another portal just happened and even if it did open, I couldn’t take you with me through one of those thresholds. This is a different type, specifically the god builds it and I’ve been through enough of her portals, this one won’t reject me. As long as you hold onto me, you’ll be fine. Now, hurry up.”

Benny grimaces and they hobble into the chasm. At first, he feels like he’s falling and then there’s something sucking out his Adam’s apple before pushing it all the way against the back of his throat and dropping into his stomach. He thinks that it isn’t too bad, but then that lump in his stomach is popped and it feels like his stomach bursts. He can’t imagine doing this again let alone with a stomach wound and his arm around Gabriel’s back grips tighter. It’s over fairly quickly though and they’re spit out of the other end of the chasm into a thunderstorm. 

Gabriel moans and his knees hit the wet pavement, Benny doesn’t have the strength to catch them and goes down with him, rolling onto his back so the rain hits his face. He feels like he just ran three kilometers without water and then threw up, his chest is heaving as his head lolls to look at Gabriel, “Did it, ah, rupture?”

If Benny is out of breath, Gabriel is suffocating. Every exhale is wheezed out and his eyes are clamped shut, his hand covering his wound as he pants. He shakes his head and exhales again, longer and calmer, “Fuck that rollercoaster.”

He chuckles breathlessly, nods at Gabriel, head turning toward the sky again, and relishes the feeling of rain falling on his face. He can also see the neon of the apparent hotel parking lot they’re in, “For someone who doesn’t like you, she doesn’t really express it.”

Gabriel is still hunched over as he looks over at Benny, “Who said she didn’t like me? Because they’re liars. Unless it was me. She tolerates me because she’s clearly in love me,” he says and there’s a particular loud bout of thunder as if nature is disagreeing with him, “I need a bed, darling. Stop being jealous and go check us in.”

Benny knows it irritates the angel when he doesn’t react so he gets to his feet and then helps Gabriel to his, “You got any money?”

Gabriel looks completely scandalized as he pulls a room key out of his pocket, “Now, how did that get there?” he asks Benny, tone mocking and high pitched, “Fairies?”

Gabriel gives Benny a 6.4 on the bitch face scale as Benny helps them inside to the nearest room and feels peeved as the vampire ignores his jabs. The room, like any highway hotel room, is about as depressing as the last Oreo, but it isn‘t Purgatory and there are _mattresses_. He gets within range of the nearest one and falls onto his back, his organs jostling and upsetting as the mattress bounces but it’s worth the teeth grinding as he relaxes. True, the mattress could be better and the water stains on the ceiling aren’t a good sign but it’s a bed and three years without one gives you these pesky things called perspective and gratitude. 

Benny heads toward the bathroom and Gabriel watches from his bed as the vampire scrubs Gabriel’s blood off his hands and then his own blood off his neck, nose, and ears.

Since it’s daylight and they went in through the fire exit, someone is banging on the door and demanding a deposit. Gabriel stifles a sigh and snaps, the banging stops as the memory of them checking in is planted in the manager‘s brain. The pain is less than it was in Purgatory but he can’t dismiss it as he could there, it’s more vibrant and he hates it all for a moment. Only for a moment before long months spent tugging at the end of his metaphorical rope pokes him right in his eye and tells him to grin and bare it. Benny catches his gaze in the mirror and frowns. It’s like a perpetual state with this guy.

“Shouldn’t you not be doing the snapping thing, _cher_?” Benny asks as he pulls open the shower curtain and considers taking a shower.

Gabriel ignores him and turns on the T.V., surfing channels almost immediately and muttering, “Shouldn’t you be gone already, Mother?”

“What?” Benny asked, leaning against the bathroom doorway, “Sick of me already? Now, I’m hurt.”

Gabriel could feel his Grace crashing in waves against this body’s sides and it definitely didn’t like the vampire standing a few feet away because his Grace is an angelic snob who was deeply offended by being locked away while Gabriel committed sins his Father would look away from. Gabriel shoves it down; at least he’s trying to make up for it now. Nevertheless, everyone knows pagans and angels don’t mix and the pagan magic he received by doing all those sins doesn‘t like his Grace one ounce. He grins at Benny as if nothing happened, “You smell like old blood and the sewer. Take a shower.” 

As Benny closes the bathroom door behind him, Gabriel lets the remote fall back onto the sheets and considers what could balance out his core. 

It’s while he’s contemplating all the fun and painful ways to merge the two powers that he feels a tug on his Grace. The kind of tug he gets when another of his brethren is near. It’s not a custom feature, the weird sensation of being watched hardly compares to the sensation of watching someone commit murder and that‘s only just one brilliant feature of the Holy Messenger care package. The other angel knows the basic, that he’s an angel too, close as well but they don’t know his rank. It’s then that he hears it. 

He thinks Benny hears it too because the water in the other room cuts off and there’s dead silence as Gabriel mutes the television. 

“- we’re the freaking Winchesters!” it comes in a voice this time and Gabriel knows it couldn‘t be any other person no matter how much he wishes it to be. 

Gabriel scowls and curses Kali in every dialect he knows, ignoring the sense of her laughter in the back of his mind. When the bathroom door opens, they both meet the others eyes and Benny actually looks ready to move again, all dressed and room key in his hand. Gabriel blinks at him, “You want to leave?” he asks incredulously.

Benny glances at the closed blinds and walks over to the window, lifting a few slots with his finger and staring out into the parking lot. Gabriel knows there’s a Chevy out there, pristine as the day she was bought if only a little wear and tear of two boys growing up within it. The amount of longing Gabriel can see in Benny’s eyes is staggering (and pathetic but Gabriel digresses) but the vampire shrugs, letting the slots fall back into place. “Up to you, boss.”

Gabriel scoffs, “I am not your surrogate clan, let’s get that straight. I am certainly not anything like your so-called Maker and we aren’t going anywhere, sweet cheeks. I got a prophet to knock some sense into and a scribe to knock off. The Winchesters being here doesn’t change any of that, in fact, they’ll lead us to both. We‘re going to wait until they leave and then we‘re going to follow them.” 

Benny comes and sits on the other bed, looking for all the world-willing innocent as they hear boots stomping around in the room above them. Gabriel scowls, he’s not nearly strong enough to deal with Metatron on top of the Wonder Twins but hey, this clearly isn’t pander-to-the-injured-angel day, so he hobbles to his feet. He ignores Benny’s disapproving look and heads toward the bureau, opening the drawers until the bottom one shows him extra bed linen and towels. The linen is closest to gauze and he snatches it, turns around to stagger back to the bed, throwing the linen at Benny as he sits down again. 

Benny frowns at it as if it offended his mother, “What am I supposed to do with this?”

Gabriel sends him a withering glare, “Listen, as much as I’d like to wait for the natural healing process and all that? We don’t have time. I need stitches and unless you want to go kidnap a doctor, I need to wrap the wound until we have time to stop by my place.” he informs the vampire and looks pointedly at the linen still resting in Benny’s hands, “Tear that into strips.”

“Is a there a needle that’s actually going to pierce your skin?” Benny questions and Gabriel shudders, recalling memories from his past and a god who wanted to know the same.

“Shut up.” he demands and pulls his jacket and shirt off, face contorted in pain and hand held out for the torn linen. He never gets it. Benny wraps it around his stomach quickly, sufficiently. It’s tight enough to keep the blood from oozing as it had been and Gabriel nods his thanks. 

Gabriel leans back against the headboard and tunes into the angel frequency. He sifts through familiar voices and ignores the ache in his Grace, searching for a particular if peculiar one. When he finds it, it’s not the same, it’s exhausted, weakening, and there are traces of black pitch all around it. Gabriel feels an answering flare from his own at the obvious neglect. He feels guilty, too. He pushes his own emotions away and focuses on the location. He puts something akin to a tracer on the younger Grace and blinks back to the hotel room and Benny. 

The vampire is staring at him and Gabriel looks away then back, “Yes?”

Benny looks sheepish as he snags the remote, “Nothing. Your eyes went all . . . Blue-ish.”

Gabriel knows he shouldn’t have to use that much energy to find one little seraph but he doesn’t say anything. The Holy secretary says his name a floor above them and Gabriel’s hand unconsciously curls into a white-knuckled fist. They’re talking about the death of the archangels and Gabriel could practically feel Metatron’s subtle satisfaction while Gabriel is thrown into a fresh bout of grief for Raphael. He feels sick and his Grace all but rages in him at Metatron’s obvious consummation at his brothers’ deaths. The sooner his Grace settles, the sooner he can lock the little creep away.

For now, he snaps and the three little bottles of liquor in the fridge are in his lap and he mumbles, “Two for me, one for you,” at Benny and hands the vampire the mini Captain Morgan bottle, snickering at the pirate label. He keeps Crown and Daniels for himself, downing them quickly and letting the rush of alcohol hit him, his Grace swimming slightly as it reaches his blood. 

It’s enough to take his mind off the pain and that’s all he asks of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my dears, I am sorry I took this long to post a second chapter but I am lazy and hate my job so that could be why. Thanks for the kudos, subscriptions, and bookmarks! Y'all are lovely. Side note: I bought a baby Rainbow Cactus and named it Howard. I can't take care of myself all that well but I can take care of bby cactus, fight me.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Kay, well, the _Italics_ are excerpts from Changing Channels and the rest is from The Great Escapist.

When the mini bottles are in the trash bin and the vampire has a pleasant smile on his lips, Benny pulls his cap over his eyes and pretends to ignore what the quiet voices upstairs are saying. Gabriel sits, staring at the wound on his palm all through Sam’s little bitch fit about angels. 

“Pull the freaking trigger, you cowardly piece of garbage.” Sam snarls, a chain reaction of duty and regret setting Gabriel on a friendly trip down memory lane.

_“What did Daddy say when you ran off and joined the pagans?” Dean spouts._

“All the time you’ve been hiding here, how much suffering have you read?-” 

_“Daddy doesn’t say anything about anything.” he replies, leaning back on his heels with his hands stuffed in his pockets._

“Humanity’s suffering!-” Sam goes on, he’s so bitter now, different now.

_“Help us stop it.” Sam pleads._

“-And how much of it has been at the hands of your kind?!” Sam growls at the scribe above him but Gabriel shivers nonetheless. 

_Gabriel frowns, pity bubbling up inside of him like a spring, “It can’t be stopped.”_

“Gabriel?” Benny asks, glancing over for a moment. He shakes his head and Benny goes back to faking sleep.

_“You wanna see the end of the world?”_

He closes his eyes, feels sick, wants to go up and scream at the boys that he’s nothing like Metatron. He thought it was the right thing, he thought they would pay attention if an archangel left Heaven. 

He knows now when they didn’t, he should have gone back. He should have made them listen. 

He’s feeling things he doesn’t want to and has run away from all his life. He has to stop running; he’s so out of breath.

He monitors the scribe leaving and then returning with the prophet. His skin crawls with the instinct to protect at this point but he stays on his bed. Some stupid voice that sounds a lot like one of the ones upstairs tell him he shouldn’t bother getting up.

Benny’s hat is still over his eyes and they’re both doing a good job of ignoring the situation. Really, it’s amazing, Gabriel thinks, Dad would be proud.

With both scribe and prophet in the room above him, he should take the initiative but instead of that, he’s leaning more toward the opposite. He knows he can’t pop into the room above him and take over. For one thing, he knows he looks like shit and Metatron would automatically take advantage of that. For another, he doesn’t even know if it’d be only Metatron taking advantage. The boys were never too happy to see him and he doubts this time will be any different.

He swallows and blinks his eyes open, he can’t stick his head in the sand again and he rolls to look at Benny, “You up for visiting?”

He asks the uninjured person because logic is clearly not on his side what with the whole defying death. Benny just hums and slouches further down the headboard of his bed. Gabriel swings his legs over the side of the bed and attempts to stand on his own. He manages for a few minutes but when he tries to hobble to the bathroom, it ends with him almost collapsing on the carpet between the two beds. He slides down to where his back is against his bed and he’s facing Benny. 

He rubs his forehead. He knows if he were human, he’d be dead. Internal bleeding would have handed him his ass and pointed to Death’s lovely classic car hours ago. The fact remains that he isn’t and it hasn’t.

He shrugs his shoulders, jerkily stands up and tries tweaking with his Grace. It’s almost like having a rubber band on your wrist and snapping it, he thinks, as he starts sifting through the more fragile pieces. The more he touches his Grace, the more he feels the pagan part of him claw at it as if it’s a child begging for attention.

He doesn’t notice the first lamp bulb bursting or Benny sitting up and scanning the room for a nonexistent threat.

His base line is steady, the Grace even streamed enough that he should be able to pull on one of the streams and get whatever he wants. 

The other lamp on top of the bureau pops and shatters making Benny jump again and stare at Gabriel. The angel’s eyes are a milky blue again.

See, his Grace is unlike the other Archangels and so very far from a Seraph’s Grace, it might as well be in another genus all together. He is the Messenger, he’d like to think was God’s reasoning, the one who knocked some sense into humans had to be different, all shock and awe and listen the fuck up. It worked out well for him, his personality molding around his job and he didn’t have to change when he switched jobs because they were practically similar if fewer morals involved. 

Except he doesn’t have either of those jobs anymore, the two powers really don’t think merging is in their best interest, and he’s changing because of that. It’s not dramatic changes but emotion that belongs in a vault in Mariana’s Trench is surfacing quite abruptly and power he had under control is trying to sneak away. 

If he can go deep enough, maybe, he can find a reset button or-

“Gabriel!” Benny shouts and Gabriel looks up, eyes wide. He still has a tiny of amount of alcohol in his blood stream and doesn’t care about someone shouting his name but he freezes as the noise upstairs silences immediately. 

“Did you hear that?” someone squeaks, most likely the prophet, Benny swallows, closing his eyes. He might be praying but Gabriel is pointedly ignoring that.

“That sounded like. . .” the older Winchester trails off and Benny’s lips press together, a thin line of white. Gabriel can hear his heartbeat and Benny‘s lack there of.

“What the hell?” Gabriel hisses.

Benny opens his eyes to glare at him and whisper back, “You blew out most of the lamps! What did you want me to do? Wait until the whole hotel was in the dark?”

“Aren’t you going to check that out?” the scribe asks, his voice seems more annoying than last time even through the floor and ceiling. 

Benny looks to Gabriel, Gabriel rolls his eyes, and snags Benny’s forearm, snapping with his free hand.

Nothing happens. Gabriel’s chuckle isn’t nervous but it’s a near thing as he tries again. Nada. They’re still in a bad hotel with Winchesters and Company upstairs. Gabriel wipes his mouth, murmurs, “Fuck.”

He looks around the room and snaps again, a pamphlet about local activities disappears from the nightstand and appears in his hand. He snaps and it goes right back. He purses his lips, thinks of Tahiti and snaps. The last lamp in the room bursts and the room descends into sunset shadows while Gabriel and Benny remain unmoved. Well, that’s weird.

“Yeah, stay here.” Winchester Number Two says, as a door opens, and closes. 

Now here Gabriel would like to say that they did the smart thing; left through the fire exit, from there hijacked a car, driving off to one of Gabriel’s safe houses. They waited a good amount of time for him to heal but not long enough for Metatron to carry through with any of his nefarious planning. 

They didn’t, of course, but Gabriel would still like to claim they were both calm and collected enough to figure out a brilliant plan like that one or one similar.

Benny wrenches his arm from Gabriel’s grip to smack him in the shoulder, growls, “Idiot.”

Gabriel gives him incredulous look, “This is hardly my fault, you overgrown mosquito, I didn’t call out your name like we were breaking the bed!”

Benny rolls his eyes, “Yeah, you wish, _cervelle d'oiseau_.” 

Gabriel doesn’t get affronted. Seriously. “Motherfucker, do I look like I got feathers to you?”

“Just because you’re scared to face your lover-” Benny starts before Gabriel snarls, angry with himself and Benny for bringing up that pleasant reminder that this, all of this, happened because he saw a pretty face and swooned. He forces to himself to remember the _facts_.

“He’s not my lover. He barely looked at me when I went to go throw myself on a sword for them and their _cause_ ,” Gabriel sneers, “Besides; I’m not the one who wanted to run away.”

The vampire gets off the bed, shooting back “This time.”

Gabriel stops, swallows.

_“You wanna see the end of the world?”_

“Yeah, no, let’s talk about that. I was clearly in the wrong for wanting to stay alive and out of the fighting.” Gabriel starts, forgetting about keeping the volume of the conversation at low, “Fine, I’m a coward for running away and not looking back. Wouldn’t that make you one too? Wouldn‘t that make Sam Winchester a coward as well? How about one everybody knows and loves, what about God, huh? What about my perfect ever-loving Father? Isn‘t He a coward?!”

Benny’s shoulders hunch and Gabriel remains between the bed, sliding down again and fighting the urge to throw up. Benny didn’t know anything about half the stuff Gabriel had said and Gabriel already regretted saying most of it. The problem being he wouldn’t have said any of it if he felt normal.

“Gabriel. . .” Benny says, walking back and crouching down in front of him

Gabriel’s scoffs softly, shaking his head “Don‘t.”

“No. Look.” Benny says, pointing at Gabriel’s palm. It’s shining a sickly blue and shaking. It’s a surreal feeling, he has to admit and he didn’t even know he could go into shock but the Grace flickering at him says otherwise. He flexes his hand and it stings in response. None of this adds up, he’s weak, sure, but not _that_ weak.

Benny slaps Gabriel’s other hand when he goes to touch the wound. He mutters at the angel, “Don’t touch it, you’ll make it worse.”

Gabriel stills, looks sheepish all of sudden while it suddenly hits the vampire and Benny closes his eyes in resignation. “That’s it. That’s what you’ve been doing since Purgatory. Touching and using an infected power source as if it was perfectly healthy. You’re making yourself sick, Gabriel.”

“It shouldn’t be sick!” Gabriel grimaces, because he knows when his power is sick and this isn’t it, “ _I_ shouldn’t be sick. There’s nothing-”

Benny cuts him off, “I don’t care. You can’t use it again. You’re not dead but you couldn’t tell by looking at you. You said I‘m your nurse? Then listen to me.”

Gabriel scowls but doesn’t argue, he’s shivering again. Maybe that has something to do with it. Too bad, he knows practically nothing about Grace health. Honestly, if Raphael hadn’t been a douche and gotten himself killed this would all be over by now. There’s another pang of guilt and he grips the bed, stands only to sit on the edge of the mattress. “Fine.”

Benny watches him suspiciously, sitting down across from Gabriel on his own bed. “That was easy.”

“I’m a pretty easy guy.” Gabriel says, before he thinks, quirked eyebrow and smirk in place. Some things are ingrained, it seems.

“That’s just gross.” Benny retorts, looking a cross between appalled and bemused.

Gabriel mock sneers, “Your face is gross.”

“Nice to know your insults only range between middle school humor and soul crushing apathy.” Benny deadpans.

Gabriel’s smirk turned sly, he’d heard that kind of blank wit before, it seems baby brother’s been making more friends. He says nothing, though, only watches Benny watch him. 

Five minutes of silence later, he sighs loudly and dramatically, “Come here, we’ll hug it out.”

“You’ll _what?!”_ a voice, from the door that neither angel nor vampire noticed opening, says in hilariously high of pitch.

Dean, the source of the voice (to Gabriel’s endless amusement), and Sam stand, guns aimed and faces grim.

“Tsk,” Gabriel clucks, “Have you boys heard of knocking? We're in the middle of a very emotional moment right now.”

“Gabriel?” Benny says, staring at the two men (definitely men now Gabriel can’t help but notice) in their doorway.

“Yes, dear?” He asks, smiling at the vampire.

“Put your shirt back on and shut up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Oiseau cerveau_ translates into bird brain, or at least, it should. I know this chapter is a little short but the next one will be hella long.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, okay, so I lied. This **is not** hella long but it took _hella_ long and you have my deepest apologies for that. I don't know if you're all still reading this or what but again, really _really_ it took this long to get the chapter up. I'm just, in general, a hot mess. Sorry.

Gabriel blinks down at his bare chest and his bandaged stomach before shrugging. He picks up his maroon shirt from the floor and slides his arms into the sleeves, leaving the buttons undone and the two men in the doorway automatically send suspicious glares his way when he grins rakishly at them and Benny.

He remains hushed and Benny waits a moment before Gabriel spreads his arms in a gesture that suggests Benny take the quiet while he can. 

“Dean -” Benny tries and is shut down almost right out of the gate by the older Winchester. 

“Yeah, no, I don’t have time for this crap. What are you two and how did you find us?”

Gabriel grits his teeth seeing as how it seems nothing changed in the years he’s been gone. Alright, technically everything has but it’s not for the better. He hasn’t even left the hotel room and he already sees it, in the boys, their faces. They’ve aged ten years instead of three, they’ve added to their collection of scars, and they’ve lost hope. The only hope they have now is for an end and Gabriel knows better than anyone where that leads. 

Father, that’s depressing.

“Well, I don’t know about you,” Gabriel says, noticing Benny covertly sighing with relief, “But I’m a little offended, I died and gave you two schumcks the keys to keep this rock spinning and you can’t be bothered to remember what species I belong to, why, I suppose you’ve forgotten my name as well-”

“Gabriel.” Sam says, no tone of contempt or hatred like Gabriel expected to hear. Just his name, soft and disbelieving. 

Sam looks terrible and he probably feels worse, Gabriel muses, looking over the taller brother. The trials have been purging him but they can’t scrub his DNA clean and it’s going nuts trying. Gabriel’s eyes trail down Sam’s chest, takes in the way his arm and hand slightly tremble under the weight of his gun. His hair is longer and adds age as well as beauty, not to mention it makes Gabriel want to grab a handful of it and stick his tongue down baby Winchester’s throat. He has all these warm fluttery feelings in his chest from Sam murmuring his name and they don’t mix well with his Grace churning like butter but he doesn’t think he’d give them up to save the world. Gabriel never had a chance. He snorts aloud before he can stop himself. 

He must have been silent too long because Benny’s giving him another one of those looks that says ‘I am disappointed in your lack of attention and personal care’ and the brothers are sharing glances themselves. 

He inhales through his nose and pushes away anything that isn’t focused on convincing Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum that they’re only here to help. He licks his lips, glancing at Benny, failing at being subtle and hoping to convey that the vampire should try again.

Neither creatures notice Dean’s scowl deepening or Sam watching the two with disclosed if unusual interest as they’re too busy having a silent argument.

With a final grimace at Gabriel, Benny tries again, “Listen, we haven’t changed, er,” he pauses as both men give him a disbelieving look and Gabriel rubs his eyelids.

“Right, well,” Benny mutters, “Not in the ways that would endanger either of you, Dean. Come on, brother, you know me.”

Dean relaxes slightly as Gabriel stiffens and looks up at Benny with wide eyes, mouthing “Brother?”

Benny’s expression means he should let it go but that poor vampire. Now, Gabriel isn’t much better off here but Sam will never look at him and smile, will never relax just because Gabriel said a few words. Gabriel doesn’t know what it’s like to touch and be close but not close enough and wow, that was cliché but when he rethinks what Benny said he can’t help but feel bad. And amused. 

Mostly amused.

“Aw, kiddo,” Gabriel coos at him.

Benny stifles a sigh and Dean comes further into the room, “How about you tell us what the hell is going on?”

Gabriel raises his eyebrows at both men, “Us? What about you two bozos, dragging a prophet out into the field? How old is he? Can’t be very, the last one was only in his early thirties. And the scribe? Really? I’m just assuming you have a death wish from now on.”

“Yeah, well, Metatron’s been doing more than you have.” Dean points put accusingly.

Benny watches the angel, surprised at how quickly his shoulders become a tense line and his expression cuts off into something unreadable. The vampire hadn’t realized how calm Gabriel became with him.

“More of what, Dean?” Gabriel asks, voice low, “Ever think to ask that? Has he agreed to help you out of the goodness of his little heart? Tell me, Winchester, when has any angel helped you _just_ to help you?”

He’s expecting them to throw Cas in his face but they stay silent, expressions suddenly doubtful. He doesn’t really dwell on the fact that he made some impact because he’s itching to check on their little toy soldier. What did he do that they’ve lost some of their trust in him? Where is he, anyway? 

Benny watches as Gabriel’s eyes start turning blue again and he kicks the angel’s shin. Whisky eyes glare at him but when he glances at the boys Gabriel seems to understand. The angel’s worried about something though, Benny can tell, his hand going to press against the cheap linen wrapped around his wound. 

Benny isn’t the only one who notices the tell and Sam’s eyes narrow, “What happened to you?”

Gabriel grins lazily at them, “Little of this, little of that. Mostly Lucifer’s blade in my stomach.” 

“Lucif - That was over three years ago!” Dean splutters.

Sam pales, his arm lowering momentarily before he straightens it back again with a new rigidness. 

Gabriel’s lips stretch into something hollow and nods, “Yup. Guess old wounds don’t really heal, who knew?”

The bitch faces he receives from everyone are uncalled for, he thinks petulantly, it’s not his fault. After all, not many people can claim to be as damaged as him.

He forces back a sigh, whatever is inducing this self-proclaimed pity party needs to stop before he does something drastic. Like sympathize with the _Winchesters_. It’s shit like that that got him into this mess in the first place. 

Dean motions with his gun, grumbles, “Alright, get up.”

Benny complies easily, standing and reaching up to brush his hat off, fist almost white-knuckling the blue cap as Gabriel smiles mockingly and stands without so much as a wince. 

Dean tilts his head and jerks the gun at Gabriel, “What’s with you and him?”

The mocking smile turns into a smug leer, “What’s it to you, _brother_?”

Benny glances upward for what Sam assumes is patience as Dean growls, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing.” Benny says before Gabriel can open his mouth again, “I found him bleeding out in Purgatory and I carried him to a cave. He summoned some lady and got us out.”

Gabriel pouts and Sam frowns, “Lady?” he says, then his expression turns exasperated, “Kali? I thought she hated you.”

The angel looks offended and splays a hand across his chest, “I don’t know where you people are hearing these viscous rumors. We’re madly in love and going to run away to Kolkata as soon as I help that little prophet upstairs sort out his head.”

He’d offer to help Sam out as well but he already knows the answer to that.

“You’re not going anywhere near Kevin.” Dean says, threatens. 

“Now, Dean,” Gabriel counters calmly, “I won’t hurt the little mystic, I need to show him.”

Half-truths have got him this far and he hopes they’ll get him a little more.

Sam purses his lips, lowers his gun ever so slightly, “Show him what?”

Gabriel’s torso is starting to feel like someone poured acid down his throat and its slowly eating him, he’s really feeling the whole ‘fuck you, let him suffer’ attitude but he remembers Elijah and John and all the other idiot prophets that thought they could read the Divine Word all on their own and he answers, “You remember that leather bound journal your daddy kept? Well, let’s say he had significantly better handwriting than mine. Your prophet can read it now but it’s hard for him, isn’t it? He reads it like it’s all smudged. I can fix that.”

If he can even do that, he doesn’t know but he’s counting on his Grace to be the self-sacrificing piece of crap it’s always been.

Dean glares at him for a few more awkward minutes then turns to Sam and mutters something under his breath. Benny is still standing beside Gabriel, his arms now crossed over his chest and doing his best impression of a disappointed mother. Gabriel twiddles his thumbs and tries not to twitch.

“You,” Dean points at Gabriel, “Are going to keep your mouth shut, help Kevin, and then you’re going to leave.”

“Both of you are,” Sam says, looking at Dean sternly while the older brother looks away from Benny’s gaze, hunted.

Gabriel scoffs, looking from Benny to Sam then just at Sam, “Who’s a hypocrite now?”

He knows it’s childish as soon as it leaves his mouth but both of the men look caught off guard by Gabriel coming to Benny’s defense before his own. Gabriel curses them all and Dean is back to scowling while Sam peers at Gabriel, his gun dropped and looking a little betrayed.

“There’s a little problem.” Gabriel states, not lingering on any one of them long enough to make eye contact, “You told the scribe I’m dead and I’d like if he kept on thinking that.”

Sam frowns, “Why?”

Benny’s looming next to him and Gabriel is still adamant that he isn’t sick but he exhales through his nose, “Because he’s a dick.”

“So you want to wait around until Metatron, a guy who hasn’t left his hotel room in probably over a century, leaves because you don’t like him and then we’re supposed to trust you to come help Kevin?” Dean asks, sarcasm littering his speech.

Gabriel raises an eyebrow, “No. If Metatron leaves, we’ll have bigger problems to worry about.”

He has a feeling he knows right where Metatron will go. He curls his lip in disgust, guilt makes you agree to such awful stupid things and angels, angels are weak.

“Look, I know you’ve got no reason to trust me,” which is bullshit they’ve got a really big reason called the apocalypse but Gabriel digresses, “And you think that these trials are a good thing. You do what you got to do to help you sleep at night, fine, but Metatron is planning something and you can bet everything you love it’s going to be ten times worse than whatever you’ve seen so far.”

Dean looks chagrined, watches Gabriel for a moment before lowering his gun as well and saying pointedly, “We’re going home.” 

Gabriel holds in his contempt as they start to walk out the door. He’s not a dog about to follow them home. He doesn’t even know where that’d be, “Home?”

“Yeah, oh, I forgot, you don’t have one of those, do you?” Dean says over his shoulder and it barely stings anymore. He doesn’t belong anywhere and he’s accepted that.

Sam stops and turns, grabbing a pencil and a hotel note pad off the bureau to scribble down some numbers, coordinates. He stands back up, steps toward Gabriel and hands him the little pad of paper. Their fingers brush and he blinks at Gabriel’s stare before his eyebrows shoot up in question. Gabriel does the mature thing and flips him off. Sam’s expression goes carefully blank and he walks back over to Dean. 

Gabriel looks over to Benny who’s eyeing his bandaged stomach and Gabriel leans over, whispering in a conspiratorial voice, “Worried you did a shit job?”

Benny’s eyes shoot up to his, they’re filled with amusement as he glances to the boys who are glowering at Gabriel and he mutters back, “Worried you didn’t?”

Gabriel grimaces and tosses the note pad onto the nightstand.

Benny seems to enjoy the awkwardness until Gabriel mouths, “Brother,” at him again then everyone is scowling. It’s somewhat satisfying but Gabriel's fingers still burn like a brand from Sam’s own and the satisfaction vanishes. 

The brothers stop in front of the cracked open door when someone knocks. There’s some shared looks to make sure they aren’t expecting anyone before a kid sticks his head through the slight opening to look at them, “Dean?”

Gabriel freezes, feels his brother’s icy touch run up his spine. He looks and looks again and prays he’s not seeing this. He comes up and slides between the two brothers, smiles at the kid as he pushes him back out of the room and closes the door. He turns around, walks slowly back over to the bed and drops down on his ass.

Dean looks perturbed, “What? What is it?”

Gabriel looks up from the floor to Dean, quietly growling, “Are you fucking _kidding_ me? _That_ is a child. Did you two enjoy your own childhood so much as to impose it on unsuspecting prophets?”

They both have the good sense to look ashamed but Dean grumbles, “He came to us.”

The archangel snorts, “And a junkie will go to his dealer. That doesn’t mean it’s okay to smoke crack, kiddies.”

Sam’s expression is vexed, probably reliving the glory days when that black eyed bitch was still in the picture, (not that Gabriel is jealous or anything), “You’re saying that’s what it’s like when he touches the tablet?”

Gabriel makes a face at the unexpected leap, “He doesn’t get a high from of it, it’s more like a shot of adrenaline with a draining low. It was never meant for prolonged exposure. A prophet’s head is full enough with, ironically, prophecies that when he tries to read the rock it’ll purge the prophecies to make room for the translating. Where did you get it in the first place?” 

Dean answers in a steady voice, “Kevin got it. From a demon.”

They look as if they’re awaiting a lecture but Gabriel isn’t here to point out what they already know is wrong. He isn’t exactly the poster child for right decisions.

Gabriel thinks back to when he was free to fuck and murder and partake in all those lovely sinful things pagan gods partake in and feel no guilt or ugly bubbling emotions that accompany any glance Sam sends his way. For a moment he wonders if he could call Kali, repent of the error of his righteous ways. It wouldn’t go over well, he knows.

It’s still more tempting then whatever is lying ahead for them now.

Weighing his options, he’s faced with a bad plan and a worse plan. He looks at his palm and the faint but stable shine of his Grace and he can’t even begin to reconcile the way to build it up to its previous strong gleam. He’s not ready for any more confrontations. 

He gets up again, walks up the small aisle between his and Benny’s bed and stops in front of the night stand.

He presses on the cut of his palm until it bleeds again and swipes two fingers through his own blood, he’s not exactly sure Metatron will come looking but better safe and all that shit. He reaches above the lamp and draws a sigil that will keep him and his presence here hidden. As his fingers swoop through the completing chevron, the sigil seemingly sinks into the door and he turns around in time to see Benny shoulders relax.

Gabriel watches him out of the corner of his eye, wondering how long until he’ll need to feed, wondering if that’s where Winchester camaraderie ends. Probably. He’ll burn that bridge when Benny needs it. Eye for an eye, as the saying goes. Even if that was coined in revenge, Gabriel thinks it applies just as well to debt.

For now, he waves a bloody hand at men still gaping by the door. Dean’s mouth snaps shut and he turns around to slip out into the hall, Sam following without a glance backward. Benny goes to trail behind them and Gabriel grabs his arm, “Are you hungry?”

Benny’s eyes flash an interesting color but he says nothing, lips pressing together and eyes going hooded as he looks away from where Dean had been to down at Gabriel’s still bleeding palm.

“Hey!” someone out in the hall shouts and Benny seems to shake himself out of the blood-induced haze. He sends Gabriel a glare and slinks into the bathroom, his shoulders tense again and his body language predatory. 

Gabriel’s not so sure either of them should be around humans right now but he throws away his self-preservation yet again to get ready and shadow the others. It’s not the first time he’s tossed it, a glance at the closed door reminds him it won’t be the last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are love and I am **_trash_** :)


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